Making Friends in College (For the College Student Who Doesn't Know How to Make Friends)

College is, in every way, a new experience. The environment is completely different from high school. Instead of hanging around a limited group of people you've most likely known your entire life, you're thrown into a mix of people from all over the world, and everyone has their own story to tell and their own reasons for being there.

That said, while every part of college is new, not all of it is exciting. Even though you'll be surrounded by a fresh group of people, odds are you'll be separated from your best friends, and for the most part, it'll feel like you're completely on your own in the beginning. This can be especially daunting for people who are shy, or just plain don't know how to make friends.

Fret not! I've been in the same boat, my friends, and I've got some advice for you. I'm eighteen years old, and I'm still not one hundred percent clear on the process of making friends. I've always been told to "just be yourself" and as of late, friends and family have been telling me that when it comes it socializing in college, "it will come naturally". But how can I even begin to be myself, when I don't even know how to strike up a conversation?

I consider myself a pretty awkward girl. I can be shy if I don't know a person very well, and I'm quiet before I warm up to a person and get close. The thought of just walking up to a person and saying "hi, my name is Ally" makes me feel odd. Does anybody actually do that in real life? It's just so... out of the blue and awkward as hell.

But even I have found a way to make friends that works for me. I've only been in college for a few days - five to be exact. And already, I've got enough friends to form a pretty decently sized posse. If you're a little bit on the awkward side like I am, I've got some tips for you.

The absolute best advice I can give is to just come up with excuses to talk to people. I am very uncomfortable just walking up to a person and introducing myself, because you never know how a person is going to respond to that. They could be friendly and shake your hand and tell you their name, or, on the opposite end of the spectrum, they could turn up their nose and be like "who the hell is this person" and just walk away. Maybe there aren't that many people who are actually that rude, but the fear is always there in my mind, and even if they don't show it, I will always believe that they're thinking it.

My two closest college friends so far live right down the hall from me, and I would have never met them if my fridge and freezer hadn't quit working. My unit shut off for no apparent reason, and I had things that had to stay frozen, so automatically, I went looking for someone who had a little extra space in their freezer and I found The Rachels. I just knocked on their door and asked them if they had any room in their freezer, and they were very warm and welcoming and let me shove my frozen Eggos in with their ice cubes.

That's a pretty specific example, but there are a ton of different ways this can be done. Got cable in your dorm/apartment, and you're one of the few people that do? Poke your head out the door while you're watching a new episode of your favorite show and ask if anyone wants to watch it with you. Need to take a picture with your roomie? Ask a passerby to take it for you, and see if that gets you talking.

Another great way to make friends if you're living on campus is to get to know your RA. Not only is that a good thing to do in general, but if you're close to your RA, he or she can introduce you to the other RAs. And all those RAs can introduce you to the students who live on their floors, and the web just grows and grows and grows.

Speaking of RAs, a lot of them plan events and meetings for their floor. Take my advice: go to these events. Dorm life can be monotonous. Think of it as a house with just one room. A very small house. Going to events planned for your floor is a great excuse to actually do something, other than sit on your laptop, scrolling through your Tumblr dashboard. It's also a perfect opportunity to get to know the people on your floor and in your building, and to make friends with them. Ask them if they know your roommate already, or if they know somebody else on the floor that you know, or if their dorm is any different from yours. Invite them to hang out in your dorm some time if you've got some special amenity that's in high demand: a TV with cable, a printer, a microwave.

Nothing is more uncomfortable than feeling alone even though you're surrounded by people. Making friends can be hard when all you've ever been taught is to just be who you are and hope that people flock to you. But if you're willing to just take an extra step, making friends in college can be fun and exciting. And often, the ease with which you become acquainted with others will surprise you.